The weekend, she has passed in a half-drugged, totally spacey and semi-annoyed haze. I guess I picked up something on the plane. On Thursday, I was in denial, and tried to reason with my left sinus to just cool it and behave, doing my best to bribe it with some Advil Cold & Sinus. This seemed to be a successful bargaining tool right through Friday, until it was about 6 o'clock and I read the fine print on the back of the bottle which clearly stated that I would be an idiot to take more than 6 of those babies within 24 hours, amidst a backdrop of ominous organ music that played until I set the bottle back down on the table. Seeing how I'd swallowed caplet number 6 at 2:30 that afternoon, I decided that my self-medicating would be coming to an end for the day. Cue massive box of lotion kleenex and muttering of curses at the genetically unavoidable sinus ailment.
Yesterday, I opted for a slightly different route. After waking up before 7 when my "I can't breathe" panic alarm went off inside my head, I instead spent the day stoned on 12-hour time-released Claritin. And no, Claritin is not supposed to make you feel drugged, but then again, it had never previously been tested by Lil Ms. Drug Sensitivity, aka me. Lord help me if I ever need prescription medication with codeine, is all I can say. I took the Claritin upon recommendation of a friend and the finer Claritin information Web sites of the World Wide Web, in the hopes it would do its thing and I'd be rarin' to go for a fabulous night out, planned almost two weeks previously. The timeline of events, instead, went something like this:
12:20 p.m.: return from Shoppers Drug Mart, read the package, swallow said Claritin and hop in the shower.
1 p.m. or thereabouts: start grabbing onto things as I walk, thinking mayhaps I need a nap.
1:30 p.m. until sometime later on: attempt to take a nap. The sneezing begins. The nap ends.
2:30 p.m.: the sneezing increases in intensity. I am blowing my nose every 30 seconds. I am lightheaded and my phone has become heavy machinery.
4:30 p.m.: cancel evening's plans indefinitely, as even dialling numbers becomes a medal-worthy accomplishment.
The rest of the day: stare blankly at everything and sleep, when not sneezing every five seconds.
Today I switched back to Advil Cold & Sinus. My head is much clearer, I do not feel drugged, and things seem to be clearing up, but for some reason I cannot stop sneezing. And, as I sneeze for literally the three-hundredth time today, and possibly five-hundredth time this weekend, I ponder the physical merits of this, and consider that the abdominal workout my excessive sneezing has given me may be roughly equal to 90 straight minutes of Breath of Fire.
Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I really suck at being sick.
In other news, I start my Masters Research Paper this week. Joy, rapture, happiness, other terms laced with dripping sarcasm, etc. No, I'm kidding. Kind of. It's been almost five weeks since a mega-intense round of term papers ended and I've finally learned to enjoy the art of just chilling, which actually came about eight months too late. Hey, I'm sick, I can gripe and recant on it later. Nah. I had a general idea of what I wanted to focus on before I even started the M.A., now I just have to get myself to crack open those books, start looking up articles, and writing.
Hope everyone has had a far less sneezy weekend, and that here, the temperature actually stays on the plus side of Celsius this week.
Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes today! :) I did have a great day this year, marking my entry into the quarter-century club. That was really nice. Usually I'm not a big fan of my birthday at all, but today I spent the day exactly how I wanted to. (In other words? I'm not in O-Town at the moment. Yup, travelling again!) I am still very full of food and martini right now, and I have to keep this short, but I just wanted to say thanks to some people and I'll be in touch soon, and that it's been a happy cinco de mayo.
This is my new favourite weblog -- the Dogblog. Start at January and work your way to the most recent, seriously. You'll be in love with all of the dogs and cracking up at the commentaries.
