"Who gave you time to cry and time to find yourself?"
Mmm. Sunshine. :) We had that wonderful treat of temperatures in the low-20s (Celsius) for part of last week, but this week began rainy and gray, and has stayed a bit cooler. The weekend is looking good, though! I need to get a bit of colour going so I am not quite so glow-in-the-dark when I arrive in the O.C. I'm sure no one would really mind that display of "A paler shade of Canadian" and with shorts and skirts, even I don't mind so much, but I do when it comes to beaches and bathing suits! I did go tanning on a very minor scale yesterday -- I'm not someone who can do a tanning bed thing for what one would consider an actual tan, I'm pretty cautious about that. I just wanted my skin to start turning a normal fair-skinned person's shade of pale skin, as opposed to my particular shade of pale skin, particularly where my legs are concerned. (If you don't know me, you won't get the full effect of this. A now-retired work colleague once described my skin as "medieval." This isn't bad, though!)
So, I will officially have had a month of "downtime" as of tomorrow (meaning only working full-time, without the part-time school also involved) and I have to say, I'm enjoying it. It's not that I'm not still busy, because as it turns out, there are a zillion and one things you can find to do, socialness and hobbies and errands and all sorts of great stuff. Remembering how to cook actual meals, there's a biggie. :) Not that I can't cook, because I can and do enjoy having dinner parties, I was just lacking in the time for experimenting with new recipes or going all out.
It's pretty cool, right now. I'm branching out in some new directions, and am trying to explore things that don't entail me living life in my head. I'm very appreciative for the time "between" and the journey here -- all that I've learned, and all that has brought me here and allowed me to find myself in the here and now. It's been quite the ride, and I'm looking forward to all that's to come.
Time for me to find some fooooooood... I hope everyone has a fantastic Friday. :)
Because sometimes, your brain stays home in bed...
Before I even begin, the moral of this story is that I'm not as rested as I thought I was, or that my brain is still in overdrive from the last 19 months and making simple things far more complicated than they need to be, or that I now live in the land of perma-space cadet.
Before I begin part two, I should explain that 99% of my iPod listening time occurs with my iPod hooked up to something, either my computer or car stereo.
So.
Yesterday morning when I got to work, I realized that I'd left the USB cable for my iPod at home in my carry-on bag, which I hadn't yet unpacked. Now, I always hook my iPod up to my computer at work, so I can run iTunes and easily flip to a song I want to hear without disruption from what I'm working on, or set up a playlist for the day before I begin. For some reason yesterday it just didn't compute with me that, being without my USB cable, I could just plug the headphones that usually stay plugged into my computer tower into the iPod itself. Duh. Not like I hadn't just been using it that way less than 24 hours before. So, I spent yesterday thinking that I was without tunes. I didn't even realize this until this morning. I have no idea what I was thinking, except I probably wasn't thinking at all, or my brain was still on its journey back from the land in which it delves for the "something more to it" in all things. Trust me on this, living life as me on a day when I am in full-tilt analytical mode or writing/creative mode can be interesting and entertaining (or aggravating to others) beyond words, because it is like being pulled off of another planet back to Earth, with some serious time delays and travel lag. ;)
It did, however, amuse a good friend greatly and they suggested that perhaps my brain is still stressed and making the simple infinitely complicated. Good call. I'm glad I could make someone laugh today, though! :)
I'm back -- with hair that is looking very sun-kissed. :) There's a mixture of some strawberry blond strands and some very, very blond strands, and I really like it!
I had been feeling kind of down because of a conversation had with someone earlier this week. It's kind of ridiculous that it held this power, given the caring and love and positive energy that surrounds me each and every day, exuded by so many very special people in my life; given some awesometastic job stuff this month and last (and duuuuuuuudes, I have a MacBook Pro at work (!!!) -- can you believe that?); given that I just finished a Master's degree, with As in every single class and an A+ for my Master's paper, accomplished in 19 months while working full-time. I love my job, I love my home, I love everyone and everything that I'm so fortunate to have in my life.
Going out to have something a bit different than usual done to my hair today definitely perked me up. That sounds kind of superficial, I realize, but I should explain that while doing that, I got to see someone whom I haven't seen in years. It was a fun afternoon. :)
I think that there are certain people in our lives, who come to us at certain times, in order to protect and to guide us. Sometimes, though, these people can't remain in our lives, or at least not in the capacity or relation to ourselves that they were, because if they did, we wouldn't be able to get to where we're next destined to go; where we are being guided. When we refuse to let go, even though we need to, that's where the trouble begins.
At least, I need to see it this way. I did, in effect, "lose" someone this week, or at least had a conversation that was a long time coming, from which I know we likely won't talk for some time, and we can't have the same friendship we once had some time ago. Nothing bad, but I can't reconcile a good friend saying that they respect me a lot, with a continued refusal to answer things I've asked on more than one occasion. Even so, I have a really hard time with being angry with people, even when by all rights I should be. It makes me feel bad and like I'm carrying around a heaviness, and life is too short for the negative wasted emotions. So, I wish them luck and happiness, wherever their path takes them.
I'm not in O-Town right now, and am muchly enjoying some vacation time. Today's adventure: blondening the blond. Off for some highlights. :) I hope everyone is having an enjoyable Easter weekend.
Trying to figure out if there's a way to separate the yogourt from the granola in the breakfast parfait I bought for lunch from the cafeteria. Because I would really like the granola, and I would like it to be dry, just how it looks from outside the cup.
Also, I have the David Duchovny song stuck in my head. You know, the one that starts off, "It's Sunday niiiiiiiight" [Monday afternoon] "I am curled up in my room" [in my office chair] "The TV liiiiiiight" [monitor glow] "fills my heart like a balloon..." Karaoke of the mind. This sleep and relaxation thing is fantastic.
Weekend two (the calm before the rest of the month)
Triumphs of the weekend:
1. Getting myself off of sugar or even natural sweeteners in my coffee. Yay. Actually, I just stopped putting it in and didn't bother sweetening with stevia instead, and it tasted fine. I did this with tea just over a year ago. It was just the realization that melted sugar is probably so bad for my teeth (and did you know that April is dental health month? ;)) and for some reason sugar in the morning has been making me sneeze?
I think the sugar in my coffee was one last holdover from earlier life. Just over three years ago, my eating habits changed dramatically, with the foods I liked changing too. It's a really long story, but in a very short time I dropped 13 lbs. (which yes, was too much, because I was at a normal weight for my height to start with and when you're small-framed and 5'2 this is rather significant) and eventually stabilized at 10 lbs. less (or 3 lbs. above the initial sudden drop). That's the weight I've been at for three years. My favourite sweet snack foods became things like apples and raisins, which, yes, I now even prefer to chocolate. Until one evening a few months ago, I hadn't even seen a chicken wing in years. Just little things like that. Once you stop eating certain things, you completely lose the taste for them. So, same thing with sugar, I think.
2. House scrub down
I am kind of a clean freak. When my routine changes (i.e. school to no school), I tend to go on an all-out cleaning attack, washing cupboards and baseboards and all. No, this is not an inherited trait at all (saysthedaughterofsomeonewhovacuumedthreetimesaweek). Oh, and neither is sarcasm. Just so we're all clear on that. And being a night person? That's not genetic programming, either. Heh. So anyway, now I just have to organize the office because, with the realization that my filing system sucks, I had to rifle through a lot of things last week to get all my income tax stuff together. I should straighten up the laundry room, too. Then? All will be sparkling and I can plan my next big adventure: outdoor furniture.
3. The realization that I am now fully rested.
Like, to the point where I was bouncing off the (clean) walls yesterday. But no, those of you who are part of the betting pool in regards to my higher education, this does not mean I'm entertaining any notions of a PhD.
4. Keeping myself away from a spring clothes shopping extravaganza.
I think I'd like to wait for Cali for this one. If someone can disentangle me from the palm trees I will have an overwhelming desire to hug.
5. Becoming reacquainted with pop culture.
You have NO idea. Ask anyone whom I was at the Toronto Film Festival with. Them: "Is that ____?" Me: "Who?"
Mmm, there is sunshine streaming in. Yay spring. :)
Twenty-five years and I still don't quite understand...
Dear Daylight Saving Time:
Why? Dear, sweet sleep schedule and body that still thinks 6 a.m. is 5 a.m., why?
First: It's easier to wake up when it's nice and light outside.
Second: It's more difficult to go to sleep when it's still nice and light outside. Not that it's light outside at midnight, but my brain's automatic light sensor is a little confused.
Third: Won't somebody think of the children??? You know, the children and their parents with sleep schedules. Not that I'm among this portion of the population (nor above using their plight as a means to prove my own point, apparently)... but the children.
Fourth: Somehow this has to be the reason why I am continually hearing "Never Surrender" on the radio, either the cover version or Corey Hart version. Don't ask me how or why, IT JUST IS.
Last night was really fun. I was invited to an engagement party for a friend I went to school with last year, and it was great to see him and his fiancee, AND a lot of people from the program last year whom I haven't seen in awhile. You can't feel anything but great around that group. It was fun to catch up, and hear what everyone is doing now. Hopefully we'll all get together again sometime soon. I should have a get together with those friends and my other friends, the groups who don't know each other, so they can all meet, because I think they'd hit it off. All are such wonderful people!
A reflection I made about last night, that's pretty amazing: of those that I knew or talked to, seven of us have Master's degrees, one has a PhD, and two have Bachelor's degrees and of those two, one is in law school and the other is finishing a college diploma that is in addition to her degree. I don't know what the statistics are on that, but it's pretty cool. I don't know if that will come across properly here, I think what I mean by that is three-fold. First, wow, look at our generation. We've got our stuff together and I think this country is going to be in very good, very capable hands. Second, I am so proud of everyone, for all the hard work and continuing challenge to the boundaries of self that it took to get where we are. Third, these are just truly wonderful, welcoming, caring and supportive people. I'm very lucky to know them.
Life after school is looking fantastic. :) The return of socialness, and the pursuit of further dreams. There was last night, then tomorrow I get to see another great friend. I was invited to something on Tuesday night, and also have plans for Thursday. I'm doing some travelling this month, and have been invited to another party for some friends a few days after I get back, and in a few weeks from now I'll be in California, with some of the most wonderful people I know.
I am still experiencing the ecstatic afterglow of being finished the degree and embracing the new vibrations of life. Can you sense my exuberance? ;)
