I was reading an article this morning about caffeine addiction, and it had you answer yes or no to a list of symptoms. Apparently I rank at the crisis/stage an intervention level. Which means some of my family are entirely off the chart. I've got a few things to say in my defense, though:
1. I'm not a morning person. Not even when I was little, prior to any exposure to caffeine. Consider the artificial alertness and accompanying state of wakefulness as not only a courtesy to myself, but to others I encounter during the wee early hours. You're welcome. :)
2. I'm a writer and web designer for goodness sake. There must be a steaming mug of tea within my reach at all times while working, if it's in the morning or late at night, on a night I can work until the sun comes up.
3. Do you remember that part about me writing my Masters paper last year, or the whole grad-school-while-still-working-full-time thing in general? I dare you to be up at 6, on the road by 7:15, beginning work at 8 and ending at 4, then straight to school for dinner then a 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. seminar (a key focus here being participation in the seminar), then sometimes hanging out with classmates for an hour or two, sometimes not, home by 10 or 11 or so, then doing some reading or working on an assignment, then asleep by midnight or 1, then back up again at 6... and then do this as a lifestyle for 19 months, with the addition of planning seminars or writing term papers at regular intervals, without the aid of the wonder that is tea, coffee, or chocolate.
(Yes, yes, I realize I've been done since the end of March... shhhh.)
4. I've never smoked anything, so... back off. Let me have at least one vice! ;)
5. They gave me an 8:30 a.m., Friday morning class in communication law during my second year of j-skool. That is actually when the caffeine addiction started, if we're really looking to pinpoint the original source of the supposed problem, or assign blame. Just sayin'. YOU see if you can handle legal lingo for three hours, first thing in the morning at the end of the week, for an entire semester. (Unless, of course, you're a lawyer. In which case, I'm in awe of the fact you got through all of that school with all of that lingo and all of those exams without becoming permanently slack-jawed.)
6. I'm sure there are worse things I could be consuming, like fast food, for instance. Or soft drinks.
... Not that I'm defensive about this, or anything.
I am in a wonderful state of tranquil and creative today. I have been so busy and out so much lately that tonight, my phone gets turned off, I soak in a nice, hot bath, watch a DVD, write, read, and just fully chill out and unwind. This kind of night would be perfection.
Heh. S, it's almost 11 a.m. and my hair is still in that braid.
It's been a fun week. A barbeque and picnic of sorts, seeing friends and tomorrow having my old roommate and her fiance over, reading "chick" lit... ah, sweet summer.
Provided I can get some work done on it over the next few days, my new site should be up by July 1, possibly (hopefully) sooner. Yay! There might be some design elements I change once I have time to think about them, after the new design is up, but I really just want it up. The old site's time has passed. Right now I'm trying to decide if I want to try out WordPress instead of Moveable Type for my blog, but I know that's going to mean manual rearchiving. Then again, I had planned on permanently archiving older posts off-line, and I've heard only good things about WordPress, so maybe...
Okay, I have been going back and forth between writing this, e-mail, Photoshop and Dreamweaver, some sites online, and back again, for quite awhile... enough laze for the day, time to get going. I have a package to pick up at the Greyhound station :), a Tim Horton's to hit up for some tea, big time, grocery shopping and serious writing to do.
I'd like to say a special hello to Jordan -- thank you for getting in touch, my friend, and I hope all is peaceful and well in your corner of the universe.
I'm sitting outside right now, on a gorgeous, very hot summer morning, sipping coffee and typing this, with plans to read for awhile afterward. This weekend has been relaxing and fun. Friday was my M.A. convocation, so I now have the official piece of paper. In honour of this, and out of respect for the degree and my former program supervisor, I pledge to try my best to uphold the integrity of the English language and never again use "impact" as a verb (heh, journalists are horrible for this). I spent a fun, entertaining and wine-inspired evening with friends, had a spa morning yesterday as a gift from my parents, and have been outside, enjoying the awesome weather. The perpetual girl of summer, that's me. :)
Now I need to pack this away for a bit, because the sun is making the laptop very warm! If I owe you e-mail or a MySpace response, I will be doing that, it's just been a really busy last week or so.
Together, nitrous oxide and cartoons make a root canal kind of fun
Well, I'm back from the dentist, and have had the root canal. Now I have a question: is nitrous oxide the same effect as what I've been missing by never having smoked pot? Cos man... ;)
The nitrous, it is your friend. Combined with cartoons, even better. It had started out as "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" on the TV (my request), and then as time passed, another comedy show, then cartoons. After they had finished cleaning everything out and were going to fill, the dental assistant said she'd change the station for me, and because I couldn't talk (dental dam and the thing keeping my mouth open), I think my reaction was to open my eyes really wide in a "NONONONONONO" expression, because she laughed. I told them later that they should always show cartoons to people on nitrous. You don't know if that's what you're actually seeing, or if you're imagining it, and those people doing that stuff to your mouth? That's background ambience.
So there you have it. My first dental work experience ever. It was good, which is great when it ranks that highly up there on dental experience intensity scale. And now, there will be regular visits to prevent that from ever happening again. Plus it helps that my dentist and the entire team are very cool, very nice, very warm and welcoming and friendly. Yay them, and yay for this being done.
I recently read pamie's blog about how Why Moms Are Weird came to be, and to tell you the truth, it frightened me a bit, or at least made me seriously think about my own writing aims. Is it possible to get trapped into writing one very specific genre, or to get caught into "franchising" that specificity, without the artistic freedom to explore?
I know, that wasn't necessarily the point of her blog, but it got me thinking.
Now I love, love reading. Offer me a book vs. TV and I'll take the book every time. It's why I did an M.A. in English. It's probably a big part of how and why I started writing at such an early age. I'll read pretty much everything -- from the classics, to the "canon" in varied genres, to "chick lit," to current bestsellers, to random books I find on the shelves at Chapters or hear about from others, to non-fiction, to magazines... you get the picture.
Which writer do I most admire and respect? Michael Ondaatje, absolutely. Easy answer there. Would I like to be known for the same "type" or "genre" of writing, if it can even be classified that way? Not as an imitator, not even as an obvious influence. What I respect most about Ondaatje is his willingness and ambition to experiment and explore. He writes far more than fiction novels, for even those works that are categorized as fiction novels.
In actuality, I currently have about three novels on the go. The one I've mainly been focused on is the one that could be classified as comedic angst, leaning toward "chick lit." The second one is one that is much more experimental and "artistic," in terms of form. The third one is a newer idea taking sprout in my mind and computer files, which is less experimental in form, but definitely not "chick lit." The question is, if I were so lucky to have any one of these published, would I be restricted to that style only?
I definitely understand the economic concerns, and the idea of readers, and what they are interested in and expect. It more than makes sense from a business perspective. But writing, for me, is not about having your name on a bookjacket and any legacy that may or may not come out of that. Writing for me is about reaching out. If the words I put to page can reach even just one person, and in any way inspire them or make them feel understood, then I've achieved the greatest success I can as a writer.
Every time I come back to an Ondaatje novel, there are new things in it that speak in different ways, sometimes reaching me on a very personal level, transcending page and bone and skin, as I sit and just stare at the words, at the ink, feeling certain sentences and scenes resonate somewhere deep inside of me. They captivate me for any number of reasons, whether it be experiences or observations of myself or of those close to me, or the way something has been said. Here are just a few:
"Half my days I cannot bear not to touch you.
The rest of the time I feel it doesn't matter if I ever see you again.
It isn't the morality, it is how much you can bear."
- The English Patient
"He has been disassembled by her.
And if she has brought him to this, what has he brought her to?"
- The English Patient
"What were the missing organs in men that made them stroll through life as courteously unfaithful, nonverbal creatures?"
- Anil's Ghost
"Days of battle and fuck."
- Anil's Ghost
The last one, believe it or not, was the sentence that sparked my M.A. paper, even though in the end, the quote was never used. It was a concept it had me begin to see, that eventually led to my exploration of Kristevan abjection, and what my paper and argument evolved into. I still remember being awake one summer night, reading Anil's Ghost for the first time and my eyes stopping on that sentence, as a whole new world within the book opened up, as did a whole new world within his previous novels. It was one of the most exciting moments I've ever had as a reader. It's moments like that which I hope to inspire as a writer.
To use the words of Zoe Rice, whose novel Pick Me Up was just released (pick it up! ;)), writing D was me writing "the book I wanted to read." Not only that, it was about writing the book that I think other people will also want to read, something they've been looking for, maybe even subconsciously, that they will truly connect with.
As a writer, I have every confidence and faith in each and every word I've chosen, and the story I'm telling. And I think beyond genres, categorization, and the "business" of writing, that's the most important thing of all.
Further sign of the coming apocal-- ... okay no, maybe not that dire
I am going to admit it. Out loud. Well, typing out loud. The latest Nickelback single? I can deal with it playing for about a full ten seconds longer than any of their other songs. It is not quite in the category of immediately reacting with "AHHHHHH" and flipping the station like someone's going to haul me away to a Matlock marathon faster than a speeding bullet if that. song. does. not. stop. playing. right. NOW. Not yet. Stop looking at me like that -- I'm blaming it on the drugs.
The antibiotics, that is. No, I'm not sick, they're a "just in case" thing for my tooth. Better to be safe than to not be able to have that area of my mouth frozen. So far, I haven't had an allergic reaction to them, and nor have they caused me to feel "seasick," which is a marked improvement over the last couple of times I've had antibiotics, which was years and years ago. They do, however, make me sleep really well at night, and man, do I dream. The morning is kind of like waking up after going to the movies, only without the hour of previews. The problem is that I could easily have a nap at any given moment, which I've noticed around mid-day is exactly what I want to do. La la la. This week is going to involve a lot of tea and coffee.
I'm going to have to remember to write some of the dreams down after I wake up, before I forget them. They could probably make highly entertaining blog material, or a screenplay, or just a lot of incoherent nonsense. All good, either way.
Now, off to Sunday night laundry land. Which, yes, I would still rather do than listen to Nickelback, so there's no need for concern just yet.
First thing's first: yes, I am having dental work done for the first time ever in my life (that isn't a cleaning, or the "sealant" clear coat of stuff they put on my back molars when I was younger to help prevent cavities), and yes, that dental work is a root canal. I skipped straight over just a regular filling. Why? Because I avoided going to the dentist for a very long time, because I was so busy for so long I just thought, later, because the tooth in question didn't hurt, and because sometimes, I do dumb things. Like not go to the dentist. But I did go, and I am having a root canal this month. Cue imminent panic attack, or one hell of a lot of nitrous oxide. This oughta be good, seeing how Dristan rockets me onto another planet. But hooray for dental plans.
Now, onto the real reason for this post: the appropriate time to yell an unrepeatable phrase at the top of your lungs, such as I did last night in my kitchen. Why? Again, because sometimes, I do dumb things. A categorically dumb thing can be defined as biting down on a chunk of icy/slushy stuff WITH THAT MOLAR. Cold sensitive much? Well, if nothing else, I learned that I don't enjoy nerve pain. And, that contrary to my prior belief, there actually IS an appropriate time for using that kind of language.
I'll call this a learning experience, in many ways. The most important lesson? Don't skip going to the dentist, even if you've never had a cavity in your life. And if you have to curse, well, points for creativity. :P
If you haven't seen the movie and want to (and don't know the story), I don't suggest reading this as it most definitely spoils the ending.
To begin, yes I did like the movie. There was just an element that struck me as oh-so-very-true, that I could not resist some commentary on. That being, the part where Tristan and Isolde's love for one another/illicit intimate entanglement has been found out, and after hearing Isolde out, her husband, Lord (just crowned King) Mark sets her free, and sets Tristan free, basically giving his blessing for them to be together, annnnnnd... Tristan, in a moment of totally misplaced responsibility, after-the-damage-is-done where relations between countries is concerned (read: excuse for cold feet and imminent wordless distance), decides that no, she must go and he must stay, because for them to be together, well then, their relationship would be remembered as that which brought down a kingdom.
Puh-lease. It already had (although I guess in the end, it hadn't), and he dies, and no one is happy. And? Typical.
Translation to modern day: The male instinct of he only wants her when he can't have her was alive and well in the olden days of yore. He can have her, but now he's been there and done that and has decided to be distant "for the good of all" even though he still wants her, and waits until he's DYING and it's too late. Oh woe is him.
To quote Anna Nalick: "And I offer no sympathy for that."
Apparently, Isolde disappears and is never to be seen or heard from again. Girl. No one is worth falling off the face of the earth for. Go, get a new hairdo and some spectacular new clothes and shoes, be nice to yourself, find a new kingdom and someone who is willing to a) be honest with you and everyone else and b) wants to be with you so much they do some pretty intriguing things to get your attention and would fight for you (for them), and keep the good memories, yes, but never let the earth swallow you whole over that kind of "tragic romance" head game. Live, love (again), laugh, be merry, and get sloshed on wine with some of your girlfriends. I advise an intoxicated evening with Lady Guinevere, then the both of you playing some pranks on Sir Lancelot (yes, I know, wrong story).
I'm such a romantic when it comes to romantic tragedies. You don't want to know how scathing I was about Romeo and Juliet back in high school. ;)
File under "Wacky things that only happen to me": I picked up a movie at Rogers Video on the way home, and after the clerk scanned my card, he looked at me and said, "So YOU'RE Jennifer Farwell." Me, slightly taken aback and more than a little suspicious, answered him, "Um, yes, I am. Why?" The clerk, he looked highly amused. All I could think was, this can't be good. Well, it seems that their computers at that particular location had chosen my name to be the default name it went to for a certain menu they use when people who don't have an account with them (or their card with them, or something like that) want to rent a movie. No, they don't rent anyone the movie under my name, and nor does my account information come up, thankfully! So I guess that Rogers Video store truly is the place where everybody (who works there) knows my name.
Hello out there in... well, not TV Land. World o' the Web? Something like that. Yes, 'tis I, the official blog slacker. What can I say, the last week or so has been muchly different for me, both at work and at home. It's all been good changes in both of these areas. :)
At work, I'm going to be pretty busy for the next nine months or so, but enjoying every second of it -- a sudden surprise last Wednesday (good for everyone involved) has given me some new responsibilities, and the opportunity for some very valuable experience. I am so thankful every day to work where I do, with the people I do, doing what I do. I am one of the very lucky few who absolutely loves what they do.
At home, I've been baby-sitting a very cute, very laid-back Jack Russell terrier for the last week! He is so funny. The longer he's with me, the more "vocal" or "expressive" he gets -- not by barking, but just little sounds and looks. Last night while I was cleaning the kitchen, I started singing him a song and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind!
Also different is my routine. I've been aiming for less Internet time, more writing time. I'm trying to dedicate at least an hour each day to writing. It doesn't matter what I write, just whatever I feel like that day. There are specific things I do want to work on, but the most important thing is getting into that groove and letting things flow.
And... my website redesign is well underway. I'm aiming to have it ready for mid to late June.
I think that's all, and lunch time is over for me. Best weekend wishes to all!
