"What have you been up to lately?" "What do you want to do in life?" I used to think that answering questions like these was a necessary part of engagement with others. A conversation I had last week has been causing me to reconsider this, and I'm beginning to change my mind.
I'm learning now, to give my dreams the respect they deserve. To protect them, to nuture them, coddled from the critics and naysayers who just don't understand, or who refuse to view the world from a different lens momentarily.
I don't have to share these. I don't have to be an open book to everyone. There are parts of me that I can share, and that will prosper and grow, if I take the care to reveal them only to They, The Ones Who Are Willing To Understand, or Who Share My Dreams. In these chosen environments, they will find exposure to the most brilliant sunshine, will take root and grow. Only when these dreams come to fruition, are fully formed and developed and ready to head out into the world, will they be public domain. But then, they will have been given the best possible head start.
It's about taking care of me, spiritually.
------
I've mentioned this on my MySpace site -- right now I'm not supposed to spend too much time on a computer when outside of work. It's nothing too interesting or scandalous, I promise, just something in relation to a long-standing RSI. I've found this to be a good thing, actually, because of the time and focus it allows me to devote to the things I'm most passionate about. So, if I'm not around too much here in blog-land, it's for good reasons. I like to call it Getting Stuff Done. :)
The double digit days of September. The slight hint of fall in the air. The drive to wake up my sleepy mind after the dog days of summer... the drive to get things done before the month is out. The realization that there are only so many hours in a day, and sometimes I have to put one thing on hold to complete another. Hence, the absence of my blog.
I took a short trip over the long weekend, and while I could probably write a lengthy blog about my encounter with Crazy Airport Sushi Action Figure Guy (seriously, it might be worthwhile to make a hidden video reality show which will explain why I often want to hide in my house, because you can't make these things up!), alas, I'm saving my words right now for other projects. Yesterday I spent the afternoon at the Ottawa Wedding Show, and I've also done some fall clothes shopping, mmm. Again, there's a post unto itself. I am in love with a cute, flirty fall dress that is now hanging in my closet. And now? Now I continue to do what I've been doing as of late, which boils down to me against the words on a computer screen. Writing, editing, and paring down.
I have to say, I'm not one who usually becomes overly attached to something I've written. Journalism school was pretty good at curing me of that. I mean, I get very involved with what I write and put every ounce of me into it, but in most cases, I am open to edits, advice, suggestions, and changes. I'm also used to editing my own work over and over again before anyone else sees it, so words that originally find themselves as part of a work may not be there when I'm ready to hand it over. However, there's something that I've been away from for awhile, that I came back to, with the knowledge that for my current purpose, I need to cut it down to two-thirds of its original length and still incorporate a couple of new things. For this particular piece, it's been a challenge. Mainly because when I went to make the edits I'd marked on the printed copy to the computer file, I found myself squeezing my eyes shut, unable to look as I hit the delete key. I don't think this has ever happened before. It's actually pretty funny.
All that said, I am working to meet certain deadlines, so this means I should probably be writing and editing things right now. I might try and drop into a yoga class tonight as well, or at least pop one of my Kundalini DVDs into the DVD player and re-focus some energy with a kriya. Lots of love to everyone.
